In Vitro Fertilization Finalization

I finally finished the two week invasion of IVF treatment. Man, giving myself those shots was not easy at first but when you have to do something it becomes normal. I don't know how those that suffer with diabetes handle it. I'm doing this treatment not by choice but by necessity. Because I'll be undergoing a bone-marrow transplant I'll be getting chemotherapy & radiation leading to me not being able to have children. So in order to still have my own children I was given this great opportunity to store my own eggs for the future. I'm so grateful that I will still be able to have children with the man I fall in love with and marry.

I had to give myself two separate shots the first week then it grew to three shots a day for about three days then four shots and finally the day before my egg removal (10in all) I took one end of the cycle shot. The process was weird for me because getting an injection is nothing new to me since I get them all the time dealing with this disease but to have to do it myself was the game changer I had to get used to. I would first wash my hands with anti-bacterial soap and them get the syringes and medications out. Then depending on the dosage I would draw into the needle the amount needed, find a spot in my lower abdomen or upper thigh and inject. I'm not going to lie, injecting myself would sting at times and the syringes would be really full making it longer to inject myself.

I noticed that over time I had begun to get fluid retention, hand & feet swelling (as though I were pregnant). It's a surreal experience that I find had to explain. The main part was finding a donor and thinking through all the characteristics I'm looking for. Height, hair color, ethnicity, etc. All these things you wouldn't normally be thinking off but I find myself having to.

The morning of my egg retrieval was horrible because I was in an enormous amount of pain from my sickle cell anemia and left the emergency room to run about 2hrs away to get the procedure done. After the fact though I couldn't help but think in terms of: my child is on a petri dish waiting for me. Wow. But the injecting myself and going into the doctors office every three days to do an ultra sound and to test my levels to determine the dosage I inject was now all finally over!

Now I can move forward with the transplant without fear and worry that I can't have children. I'm now open to just getting through the transplant and recovering!

My Brother, Fola.

I have two brother's Fola (2yrs younger) and Ayo (7yrs younger). Yes, I'm the only girl! Growing up my brother's and I were extremely close. We were best friends but something happened on the way to change that. As we hit our adolescents we basically grew apart. Growing up in my household was hard (I could share my whole sob story but I won't).

My childhood was a bad one--leaving my family, more specifically my brother's and I to endure allot. In doing so my brother Fola dealt with things differently which led to our growing apart. My youngest brother Ayo and I though have been able to maintain that close knit bond that we developed in our youth. Over the years I've tried to get back that brother, sister, friend bond with my brother Fola but you can't go back in time and I can't take away the struggles that led us to where we are today.

When I was looking for a donor I thought beyond logic and I thought the brother I have the closest relationship (Ayo) would beyond a doubt be the match I so desperately needed. But to my surprise the name that came from my doctor wasn't Ayo but Fola and what she said next blew me away! Apparently, all they needed for me to find a match was 50% but my brother Fola was 100% match and 100% usually takes place with twins of whom my brother and I are not. So, I'm first thrown aback by which brother is my match and thankful I have a match at all but even more flabbergasted that Fola is a 100% match.

I know that there are no coincidences so it's definitely God at work and I've seen him at work in my brother and I's lives since finding out that he was the match. Since finding out he was a match, I do believe that Fola and I have gotten closer and that it was God's design to use this experience to not only strengthen our relationship but to reconnect us on a deeper level and to more importantly strengthen him as an individual.

Fola deciding without hesitation to do the transplant really touched me because I really wasn't sure what his decision would be but he has jumped at any and every opportunity to take tests, travel for blood-work, and he has opened himself to risks. So I write this blog in honor to my younger brother Fola who is in a major way saving my life. With the frequency and level of pain crises that I go through and at such a young age doctors have suggested that my quality of life would get worse and I may endure several organ failures and even death. This transplant is the only answer both the doctors and I have to the infinite number of questions my level of illness seems to bring up.

I am thankful that my brother Fola and I have more conversations. I'm grateful that upon finishing tests needed as a donor and heading back to New York that my brother now stops to encourage me that if I were to need anything at all I should call him. I'm truly grateful that my brother now out of the blue will call me just to see how I am and check up on my treatment when hospitalized. I am really and truly grateful that my brother Fola and I are no longer strangers in the same family but are growing together now rather than apart as we did years ago.

I want to encourage all of you to work on those relationships that were severed and meant allot to you because if you don't you will only continue to miss out on the love and friendship that individual can bring. I know for my brother and I, it took some time and it took my health reaching the end of its rope to begin bridging and rebuilding over that gap between us. It will take time but the important thing is that we're both working on it. I encourage you to do the same.

Radiation/Chemo Therapy 4.4.11

Today was my radiation appointment. This appointment was in preparation for the radiation I get upon admission on 4.22.11. So to prepare for 4.22.11 I was called into the radiation rm where I was asked to step into a chair. The chair was secured to the wall with allot of devices/contraptions (reminded me of the chair used with death penalty inmates). As soon as i sat down the nurses began to strap me in place. They began with a strap that had a cup for my chin which was drawn across my chin & belted in (going from rt to lft). Next they put each of my arms into slings and then a glass plate was fastened across the front of me to the chair. To get a better understanding of what the chair looks like you should refer to the first image from the left, above.

The purpose of using this chair is to make sure patients cannot move so that the proper measurements can be made. Once I was done Dr. Shi entered and began to draw on me making two oval like circles with plastic adhesions outlining the ovals throughout. You can see a picture of one of those ovals in the pictures provided in the black & white above.

When I get my radiation therapy I will be sitting in the chair secured. The device that looks like an x-ray machine in the above photos will point towards me emitting a surge of radiation. I was supposed to get several days of radiation and a couple days of chemotherapy but a change was made where I will get only a day of radiation & several more days of chemotherapy (2wks total).

I am a bit nervous about getting radiation but feel better knowing that the therapy will not be as intense as it was previously supposed to be. The radiation I was going to get before the change was supposed to really give my body a beating according to my Dr. I'm hoping that with the decrease my body will recover better from the treatment. What I am nervous about now is the chemotherapy I'll be receiving for two weeks. I have never undergone chemo. All I know about chemo is what I've heard and it's not a fun experience at all.

Within those two weeks of chemo I will consistently get a day or two break every couple of days so that my body can strengthen itself for the next round. Losing my hair due to this treatment I know will be difficult for me. There's a big difference between cutting ones hair and having ones hair fall out due to treatment. Yes, I anticipate that this whole process will be a difficult one but all of these added sufferings that I am soon to take head on--are for a higher purpose/end result unlike the cosmetic result I was going for when I purposely cut my hair.

I hope that many of you will see the depths of which we as sickle cell anemia patients are willing to go through to gain some sort of normality, some sort of balance. I hope & pray that the end result out-shadow the difficulties I may face during this whole process. Please keep me in your prayers because I need every single prayer I can get. I would be more than grateful if you could put in prayer requests at your church, Thank You!